I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
