I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
