Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
