I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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