one might say we're banned from that church
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
