Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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