it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
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