Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Randomize
