I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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