Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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