Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
