so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
