u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
