Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
