You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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