I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Buhtt sex?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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