I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
