Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
