i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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