Girls should come with a carfax report
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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