I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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