I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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