I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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