It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
