he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
