i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
