love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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