Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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