if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
