which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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