White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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