instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
