Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
