I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she smelled like a LAN party
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
