i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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