i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
