counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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