my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
