come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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