Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
