Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Its about making memories worth repressing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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