Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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