i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
