Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
