Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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