i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
