Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
