Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
