Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
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