btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
