You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you will always have a special place in my vag
My vagina just recognized that song.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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