Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
