well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
