office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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